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When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then without any wrong-doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring this relationship to an end. Sometimes the ending is created by death. Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.This is usually really hard for me-letting go. But as I have grown older I have come to realize (through trial and error) that trying to force these friendships to continue is usually detrimental, and can lead to a once beautiful friendship becoming quite toxic.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelieveable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
My best friend Pri and I have been friends for 20+ years. We now only see each other once a year (when I travel back to the UK), but when we do it is like NO time has passed. We simply pick up where we left off. Of course we communicate year-long by phone or e.mail. When either of us needs a listening ear we always know the other will be there. On the other hand, when either of us have good news, we are the first to call each other. When she recently graduated from University as a mature student I am sure she could have heard me cheering from Spain! Also when I started my boutique, she was the first person I told, and she was my first customer. She is definitely a "lifetime" friend and I couldn't imagine my life without her being in it (without us living in each others pockets). In fact I love her more than I do my own sister (but that's a whole other post!)
Any thoughts?
Do you have a "Pri" in your life?
I keep a similar poem tacked to the board by my desk .... post-accident it seems that many people were in my life pre-accident for a reason or a season ...and it helps me to remember that. Thank you for your post, I really needed to read this and be reminded ...and thank you for your visits and sweet words of encouragement ... xo HHL
ReplyDeleteP.S. Congrtas to your friend!! That is wonderful!
As usual, your writing is insightful and inspirational
ReplyDeleteMade me realize that treating someone like he will stay a lifetime while he is actually there for a reason is nothing more then a waste of my time.
ReplyDeleteSad.. but there is always a reason why paople don't make it to your future!
Thnx for this great blog post Van!
xx Mieke
What a wonderful post, sweetie and it's so very true.
ReplyDeleteHope you're having a lovely weekend, honey xoxo
Dear friends thank you ALL for your wonderful comments.
ReplyDelete@HHL-I'm pleased it brought you some comfort today (p.s sent you an e.mail also)
@Mieke-great to see you here. Sometimes it is easier to let go when we realise that the purpose of that person was never to come with us into the future
@Pamreader-Like you it's an on-going process and I do get it wrong sometimes also. I notice that whenever I try and force a relationship/friendship it never pans out how I would like it to. Like you say, it's a skill that comes with age ;-)
@TAW-great to see you here sweetheart! Happy Sunday to you too.Hope you are still braving the cold like a little trooper ;-)
What a really great post, so well written. I love what you say about being in your life for a "season" - what a great way to look at it :)
ReplyDeleteThis post really makes you think about the people that have come into your life and the categories they would fall into. Thanks for giving it a perspective I hadn't thought of before. It does make it easier to let the people go that are no longer a part of your life. So interesting. Hope you have a wonderful week, Vanessa! Thanks so much for visiting Belle's blog post and taking our button! I'll be taking yours too! xoxo
ReplyDeleteVery thought-provoking post, Vanessa! It's so true that everybody in our life are meant to be here for a reason. And I'm more at ease with the come-and-go of friendship, although I put in the effort to do my part. Most importantly, I'd be genuine to them all. If the friendship is not meant to stay long, it's for the better of us to let it go.
ReplyDeleteI also remember when I realized that I hadn't seen a friends for years, and yet she's always been on my mind. I guess that's what true friendship is.
I also wanted to add that even when some people are not pleasant, they come into our life for a reason, mostly like to teach us a lesson about people and about ourself.
Again, a great post that's very well written.
Have a nice week, Vanessa!
I couldn't agree more, but I have a hard time letting go too
ReplyDeletexoxo
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Simone, Sandy, Jean and Beth thank you ALL for your lovely comments. It seems the part we all struggle with is letting go. The wisdom of "age" I am sure will help us get there ;-)
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