To Follow or Unfollow, That is The Question

OK Lovelies

As I reached my first year blogging, I started think about the bloggers I have unfollowed,or refused to follow in that time.
I'm not sure if I have been fair, but here's my reasoning. Tell me what you think?

i)You can't be bothered to acknowledge your commenters!
OK, this is the "biggie" for me. I used to follow a very popular blog (I won't mention the name as many of you still follow her). I used to comment religiously because her posts were really good. But "hostess" NEVER, EVER acknowledged anyone's comments. C'mooooooon!! In this day and age when everyone is so "time-starved" surely to just thank the people who have taken the time to respond is not asking too much. Isn't it like asking people to your party, and then ignoring everyone?

Her number of commenters aren't that big, so even if "hostess" doesn't want to respond to each one, just a general thank you at the end of each post isn't too much to ask. A couple of times I e:mailed "hostess" about a particular post, and again she never responded. However, when she wanted me to advertise on her site, I received incessant e:mails all beautifully and sweetly written!! Not the kind of person I would want contact with in the real world. Thankfully with cyber-acquaintances they can be deleted too easily with just a press of a button, which is why I think more effort is needed to nurture these friendships.If you can't be bothered, neither can I?

ii) Backlink Baddies:
You only leave bland responses on a post simply so you can leave a backlink back to your post. Isn't that like gate-crashing someone's party and handing out your calling/business card? (sorry, we are back at the party again!) Usually I spot the same bland comment on a number of posts, by the same person, and it's very clear you haven't even read the post!

iii)I'm scared of you:
Yes, on your blog posts, you ignite the grenade, and then stand back and watch your commenters pull each others hair out. Not the kind of tribe I wish to belong too

iv) Ouch!:
You leave nasty comments on people's blogs. I'm all for discussion and different opinions (and love when someone plays devils advocate), but how you present your opinion will impact on whether I follow or press delete! Thankfully, I never encountered this. As an ex-Criminal Psychologist I would like to think I am a "goodish" judge of character ;-)

v)Originality passed you by:
I'm talking about the bloggers who only post image after image from the glossy magazines. C'mon! If I wanted to see all the images from Vogue, I would have bought it. Of course if it fits in with your post, that's a different issue. But if it's just the images with a "wow" thrown in here and there, you will have lost me.

So there you have it. Am I being to harsh? I just think we are all so pushed for time, that if I am going to spend precious minutes reading your blog, there has to be a good reason.


This means that all the followers I do follow, I seriously LOVE! You have all earned your place on my blogroll, and I appreciate each and every one of you for:
*the smiles you bring into my day
*the recommendations you have given me whether it be for a book, a film, a recipe....whatever
*belly laughs first thing in the morning (you know who you are)
*nuggets you planted in my mind, that really made me think
*escapism with your gorgeous images, art, story-telling (nothing better than breaking up the monotony of the day), and most important of all
*friendships without borders
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH



Are there anymore "nasties" that should be added to the "hit-list"? Am I being too harsh? Would love to hear your thoughts.

p.s don't forget to enter our Giveaway in the previous blog post!

18 comments:

  1. I unfollow if a blogger doesn't keep up regular posts - that's my wee foible not theirs. I completely understand that some folk don't have the time but I like to follow those that I can really build a 'relationship' with, that's why I try not to follow to many either, I need to keep up with those I do follow as I sort of see it as my duty - a happy one!

    My bete noir? "I'll follow you if you follow me' Oh go away!

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  2. You are scaring me!!!!

    Maybe I am a little more relaxed about my blogging, I don't really have rules. I don't respond to every single comment and I don't expect people to respond to me if I leave them a comment, ever. I don't check back to see if they have responded, I just write what I like.

    If a new commenter writes something particularly nice and/or personal on my blog, I may go to their blog and respond but I have no set rule. And I definitely don't do that "you follow me and I'll follow you".

    My only rule is be nice and be positive. Always.

    I remember reading a big long post early on about Blogging Etiquette - which as I recall ended up in a big ol' catfight! I don't want to be told what to do though - my blog is personal, as is everyone's, so I will choose what I say and do.

    I know that my blogging style has evolved over the 2 years I have been blogging as has other people's. I don't have a particular rule of unfollowing, it's just a feeling.

    Happy Friday :)

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  3. @Tabitha and Simone-totally agree with you about "I will follow you if you follow me". It's the same on Twitter; I run a mile if someone says that
    @Simone-why have I scared you sweetie? You are one of the lovelies I follow.And it's because of your very authentic and sincere style that I love your blog so much.Like you, I am very relaxed about blogging. I blog sometimes once or twice a week, rarely more. But I feel our blogs are our personal on-line diaries, and we all use what works for us; that's the beauty of it ;-)

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  4. What a great post! I totally agree with you on some points, especially no. 1 and 2. I appreciate and love each an every comment left on my blog, I always try to return the favor (even if it´s not always easy) and I love especially the comments that show personality and preferences of the writer. And I hate "comments for comments" where people only advertise their giveaways / posts / anything, without showing a real interest in what I do.

    Have a fabulous weekend, my dear! (And I´ve just realized that you´re still not on my blogroll, even if your blog is amazing...what a shame! I´m going to repair it straight away! :)

    xx Ivana
    http://styleinthecityen.blogspot.com

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  5. Very intersting to think about! I think I would agree with everything you said. I also find myself occasionally editing my blogroll because people blog too much {you know, more than once or twice a day} or simply because my tastes/interests changed on blogs that only blog about particular topics {like decorating blogs or something if that makes sense!} Lately I'm finding I like to read lifestyle blogs that aren't specifically about any one topic. :D

    Have a fabulous weekend!!!

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  6. You are not being harsh, you are simply expressing many of the same thoughts that we all have.

    Those people who leave comment to back link BUG. I sometimes delete their comment if they are being too obvious about it. It really is just like spam.

    And, as you probably already know, I am fastidious about responding to everyone's comments to the point of sore hands if it's a busy day. I figure, if you take the time to visit my blog and leave me a comment, the least I can do is respond to you in full - sometimes I write a fluffy post (a dog's birthday, or like today - a fabric softener recipe) and I don't think there is too much for me to respond to, but I mostly still do.

    I am always shocked by the popularity of blogs that are mostly magazine photos. I just don't get that. I seek content, content, content - teach me something, tell a story, show me YOUR life.

    I have not had any nasty comments - snarky, yes but nothing mean - and no fights have broken out. So I can't speak to that. But I do know blogs that I love have had that happen. I don't know why I always think of this but to me, leaving a nastygram on someone's blog is likea rude neighbor letting their big dog poop on your lawn. It's just disrespectful and yucky and you have to go clean it up if you want it gone!

    Great post...I like how you are willing to go out on a limb on some of your posts lately. It's so refreshing! Big gigantic bear hug from California!

    Adrienne

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  7. Ivana, B and Adrienne, thank you ALL for stopping by. I'm so pleased my post didn't come across as too harsh (I had second thoughts after I posted ;-)
    @Adrienne-I love your analogy of the dog poop! And yes I sometimes just don't know how you reply to all the comments you get; you are exceptional
    I also agree with you on content.It doesn't have to be something life-changing or earth shattering, but something that shows some effort.As for "fluffy posts " I love them also. A great mix makes for a great blog, and you seem to have the mix just right :-) Hugs back from Spain sweetie xx
    @Ivana-Thank you sweetie for adding me to you blogroll xx
    @B-I agree, my tastes in reading change quite often too, and likewise so does my blogroll. I like to think of it as a sign of "growth" xx

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  8. I like to know that I matter to the people I interact with online, and that's one of the things I love most about you. I KNOW you care about me, and so many others. :-) That's usually why I stop following someone, if I feel they really don't care about their readers. I don't need or expect a best friend relationship, but courtesy and kindness goes a long way. :-)

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  9. Hi Krista, thank you so much for commenting. I feel exactly as you do; if I don't feel the "hostess" really cares whether I comment or not, then I tend to not bother.
    Thank you for your sweet words also. I LOVE your blog and am always inspired by how you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and continue with your dreams ;-)

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  10. I think you're right on...

    And I don't follow and unfollow those that do not update posts.

    Have a nice week ahead ♥

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  11. Haha....You are Great!! I love your honesty! You are absolutely right~ readership is so important! Its like talking to your family or friends! We are, as bloggers, have to be Grateful for all the support and care!)

    Have a Great week!
    Yelena,
    XO

    AllGlamThings

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  12. I'm so grateful to the people who read my blog and post comments - especially since I haven't met any of you in person. I've been horrible lately about responding (there's too much going on at my house right now!) to commenters, but I think those who regularly comment know that I'm truly interested in their opinion and perspective.

    You always leave lovely comments, and I especially like it when you bring your European experience and sensibility to my posts. :-)

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  13. I’ve just stumbled upon your lovely blog. I look forward to popping by again for some more inspiration! I'm just new into blogging this year & have put together a daily blog on design, fashion, food, travel and anything pretty.
    http://scrapbook-melissah.blogspot.com/ and one on everything coastal
    http://coastal-style.blogspot.com/
    I had a lot of fun putting them together maybe you would like to check it out if you have a spare minute.
    x
    Melissah

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  14. This was such a fabulous post, V! I definitely don't think you're being too harsh. I'm right there with you, in fact. Thre's definitely some common courtesy that should come along with blogging. Some people don't follow that but if people care enough to come visit, they should care enough to reciprocate. xoxo

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  15. Right on Vanessa! I love being able to interact with my peeps! I have to say I was a little lax on our blog in the past course that was simply because things were so busy, but I'm rectifying that now! Trying to make time to post, even if it's a little post like our Monday Dance Moves post...& trying to join in on other peeps blogs like those awesome wordless Wednesday bloggy link ups! I've been able to meet so many inspiring peeps that way!!!

    I want to make our Glamourville Blog a nice little cozy virtual tea party for all my lovely friends, not only to offer up our delightful beauty products & yes, they are quite delightful..giggle...but to get to know my peeps and entertain & inspire them!

    So nope don't think you're too harsh...I do tend to give people the benefit of the doubt if they don't respond back on a post but if it happens way too many times...I kind of just go on my way. :) So glad I stumbled upon your blog sweets...very happy to be a part of it & to know YOU! Mwah!

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  16. Interesting post. I don't usually comment back in my comments section, but follow up by email (if they allow) or on their own blog. I personally don't have time to log back into posts I've already read to see if the writer has responded, though saying that I will if I know that it's that particular bloggers habit to do so, but I don't always remember to check.

    I just came here via Simone's blog. It's a lovely place. I may pull up a chair and browse around (if I'm a good guest, I'm hoping you'll offer me a glass of that amazing Sangria - the picture alone has my mouth watering... Does it come with sunshine too?).

    Lovely to meet you.

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  17. Thank you for all the lovely comments, and so pleased to see some new followers also. Pleased that you could all see my perspective and I wasn't as out on a limb as I thought I would be ;-)

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  18. I agree with the first 4 items re blogs, most ESPECIALLY the grenade-lighters. As for #5 ... I agree but there are too many exceptions. Blogs of photos with few words can be amazing. One blog that I appreciate is VT Interiors. The rooms are well chosen, and they make a point. The posts containing a series of photos and not much more are not necessarily a cop-out, and I hope viewers will at least give them a chance... Many people find great joy in a beautifully decorated (or UNdecorated) room, clever design, and fashion. Call me superficial, (well, don't because I'm not!) but I look at those blogs happily. I DO subscribe to many many magazines, and read them. But many bloggers have a way of grouping items, or commenting on them, which gives me a new perspective or new ideas. I suppose this is a self-serving comment, because I have purposely left out captions on some photos so that the viewer can just focus on the beauty or cleverness etc. I offer plenty of words when the "need" arises. The blogs that have been clearly thrown together without thought -- your #5s -- sort of eliminate themselves, because they just are not very good. Having said all of that, I enjoy your forthright yet thoughtful way of speaking out. I WILL be following you! Cheers!
    Valerie

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your comments make my day!