In 2012 a handful of amazing bloggers started what I’d like to think of as a mini-movement in the form of a post entitled “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” in an "effort to pull back the curtain of our happy, pretty little lives".
I hadn't thought much about this until I recently met up with a blogger, and realized she was nothing like I expected, (but that could be just down to my poor perception). Of course having the background I have, I started analysing this and I realized that maybe it was because we spend a lot of time hiding behind our lovely shiny Pinterest images. I am as guilty as most, but I am concerned that because of this I am not being as authentic as I could be; thankfully those I have met up with have always said I was exactly as they expected;-)
So I thought I would share with you 5 things I am afraid/nervous to tell you, in an effort to be more transparent and so you can see the vulnerable me behind all the lovely images.
So grab a chair and let me let you in on a few secrets ;-)
1- I've been estranged from my sister for 16+ years
Yes, you've read that correctly. I'm one of those people
who waits a long time, but when I snap there's no
going back (there are no big
fireworks or anything-just a quiet and permanent retreat. My sister made my life a living hell
when I was younger (even though she is younger than me)
and on my wedding day when she insisted on playing the loving
sister, I decided that would be the last time. I've never gone back
on my word
2- I would never donate an organ..............to my sister
Ok, let me explain. Because of reason no.1, friends are
always testing me and asking questions like,
"but if your sister needed an organ, and you
were the only match, wouldn't you help her?"
The answer is an emphatic no; I would rather
give my organ to a stranger
(I don't believe blood is thicker than water)
3-I am terrified of nuns
This makes all my friends (and Hubs) roll about
laughing, but I honestly break out in cold sweat
when I see a nun. I think it stems from my time in
a Catholic school when the birthday cake my Mum
made for my friends was kept and eaten by the
the nuns (the reason they
later gave my Mum was that I had been naughty that day). When you are 7 years old you just can't assimilate that that could ever happen.
When I moved to Spain I heard horror
stories of what the nuns did during
the Civil War, and it only added to my fear
and cold sweats ;-)
I once went to a fancy dress party where there was
a nun. I nearly had convulsions when
I turned around and she was standing
behind me; honestly!
(I can hear you all laughing. I'm laughing myself just writing this to you all ;-)
4- I always knew I would never have children
I have never been maternal enough to want my own
children. I love children and am godparent to many, but
I never wanted my own. Thankfully Hubs felt the same.
However, in Spain not having children is like
a cardinal sin. I've been told:
"you are not a real woman unless you have children".
"you are not normal"
"you are selfish-who will look after you
when you are old" (can you see the irony
in that one).
"what you are doing is a sin"
"why bother getting married?"
In the end I just gave up defending
our choice. Friends are convinced it was losing my Mum at quite a young age that made this decision for me-maybe?
5-An Irrational Fear
In 2 years time I will be the
age my Mum was when she died (she was very young at the time and so was I).
This age seems to have been etched in my brain
for the last 20 years. It is totally irrational, but
I just can't seem to overcome this fear.
So there you have it Lovelies-warts and all!
I would love to know what you feel
about the above, about showing our
vulnerabilities sometimes, or whether
you feel our blogs should be a place of escapism where fears etc are not shared. I'm really not sure; my blog is a miss-mash of whatever takes my fancy much to the disdain of my business coach ;-)