Reflections+ Irrational Fears

So this week was my birthday.

No big milestone birthday, but quite an emotional

one for me. You see I finally reached the age that

was to be the age that my young Mum died.

I know this is totally irrational.

But it's been a mental milestone

that I have been dreading for as long

as I can remember.

It drives my loved ones mad.

But I can't get past it.

It finally arrived on Monday,

and everything is still the same. 

There was no big

clap of thunder. The sky did not

turn black. I didn't hear

Charlton Heston's voice booming

at me through the clouds.

No, everything just ticked

along as normal.

Was that what was "supposed" to happen?

Did I miss the memo?

So I tried not to think about or

mention "the number"out loud.

Instead I tried to reflect on what

I have learnt during my

forty-something years on this planet

(admittedly this was a struggle ;-)

I've learnt that:

* most fears are totally irrational

and that I still haven't mastered how to

not let what hasn't happened affect me as

if it has ;-)

*at all times I am where I am supposed

to be. So stop bloody fighting it ;-)

*it might take a day, a week or 

a year, but what we want will find us

*you should be able to count your

very closest friends on just one hand

*that there are still so many women

around the world who will never reach my age

as either their national life expectancy or circumstances

will dictate that

*every morning I am credited with 86,400 seconds.

It's for me to use every second wisely because

every night the slate is wiped clean and any

time I did not use is just written off.

*there is usually very little a good lipstick, heels and

chocolate won't solve

*and to…………..

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So what has age taught you?

How do you deal with

irrational fears?

As always I love hearing your

views and thoughts.

xx