Sometimes........

Sometimes.......I get frightened thinking about the future. I know it's
completely futile, but it happens

Sometimes......I wonder what my Mum would have made of some of the life
decisions I have made; decisions I made blindly because she was not around to guide me

Sometimes........I get paralyzed with fear thinking about breast cancer and
whether I will get it (again another futile thought!)

Sometimes........I feel there will never be advances in cancer; not while the
pharmaceutical industry have ultimate control over medical/scientific research


Sometimes........I do stop and just breathe (Hubs calls it "zoning out" ;-)

Sometimes......I wish I could just ring up some of my wonderful blogging
friends and say, "Hey! how do you fancy meeting for a coffee and a
girlie chat".

Sometimes .......I lose hours with Twitter and Pinterest




Sometimes........I wonder what my legacy will be
as I don't have children.

I hope it will be, "she was a good example of a hard-worker,
a better example of a a daughter, and the
best example of a wife and loyal and sincere friend".





Sometimes.........I can spend hours in my kitchen cooking
up a feast for no-one in particular

Sometimes.......I wonder if I followed the "right" path



Sometimes.......I get overwhelmed by how lucky I really am

Sometimes......I wonder what it would be like to be drunk.
I'm a tee-total, and have never been drunk (sometimes
I think it could be fun)

Sometimes.........I wonder if I will ever find the perfect
mascara!






I ALWAYS.................write in my Gratitude journal (this
is my 5th year of doing so, and I love reading back over old
journals)


I NEVER................ask "Why me?" because the answer
always comes back "Why not?".



What are your "sometimes", "always" and "nevers"?
As always I would love to hear



p.s check out these beauties for your Spring/Summer wardrobe ;-)

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48 comments:

  1. I absolutely LOVE this post....and am with you on lots of the points you have made above.

    I admire your positive attitude - and always you always "sound" so capable.

    And you know I'd be there in a heartbeat for coffee & a long long chat. There will be cake too won't there? ;)

    Have a great week-end!! X

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    1. LOL! of course there will be cake Sim. I can't wait for that day; not long now .
      Thank you as always for your lovely words and support xx

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  2. Wonderful. I think we all share in "sometimes" having these feelings/concerns/moments.

    Having your Gratitude journal is a great way to stay positive despite the negatives that surround us in this life.

    I think your mum would be prouder than proud of you and the person you have become.

    As for the mascara...after trying many different brands, I always come back to L'Oreal Voluminous. It works and doesn't break the bank.
    ~~Bliss

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    1. TYSM Bliss for your lovely comments and recommendation x

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  3. I love these images, so calming. I know what you mean about breathing properly, I always find that focusing on doing it properly and deeply is a good way of stopping anxiety in it's tracks! I swear by Clinique High Impact, it never leaves raccoon-like smudges!

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    1. TYSM SK for your recommendation ;-) Pleased you liked the post x

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  4. Aww, thanks for the lovely time reading this and seeing the pictures. It was totally worth it :)

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  5. Ah gosh, I have far too many 'sometimes', 'always', 'nevers' to list! It's amazing how women have a tendency to worry about the same things! I have never heard of a gratitude journal but you can bet that I am starting one today! Hope you have a wonderful weekend Vanessa!

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    1. Hi Meghan. Had quite a few e.mails asking me about my Gratitude journal, so I might do a post on it soon.
      Hope you are having a wonderful weekend too x

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  6. My friend your "sometimes" list is like you were reading my mind .. (instead of mother .. my Grandmother is who I wonder what she would think; in place of breast cancer .. I worry about my brain injury - and if it will worsen.) ... I'm slowly learning to just leave it in HIS hands and to ask my Angels for direction. Blessings my friend..xo HHL

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    1. TYSM for your comments Celia. I am too learning slowly to just "let things be".
      Love and hugs to you Sweets x

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  7. That is so inspiring! Thank you for the daily reminder of being grateful and remembering just how lucky we all are :)

    xoxo,
    Paris

    glitteratiandglamour.blogspot.com

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  8. This is such a wonderful post, I do and think all that you do. This morning I found a pile and I mean a pile of money under my mum's mattress - the old cliche. I asked her about it and she said she "was saving for her funeral so as not to be a burden to me" I've been crying for 4 hours now. Mums! I am sure yours would be behind you all the way Vanessa.

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    1. OMG Tabitha! How selfless your Mum is. There are many parents who would think it's not their problem once they "pop their socks".
      TYSM for your lovely comments Tabs x

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  9. Love this post, but can't answer your question as I would probably end up questioning too many things. I am petrified of Cancer. Every time I get something wrong I convince myself I have it. x

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    1. I'm the same Sharron; I'll most probably die of anxiety in the end ;-)

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  10. I worry about things too....I have to remember that everyone has a different story and legacy and things happen for a reason. xx

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  11. I have wondered similar things. I am not a mother either, and I have cancer and Alzheimer's in women in my family. I never give up. Ever. Sometimes for a day or two, but never for ever. :-) I always look for something good out of every day. :-)

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    1. You are a fab example Krista of always looking for the good in each day. You are certainly an inspiration to me x

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  12. I have been on this kind of frame of mind the past couple of months... there are so many things that I fear and worry about, sometimes, like yourself, I wish I could just pick up the phone to my blogger buds and just go hey V, let's do coffee or hot chocolate when we hook in Barcelona!

    Sometimes you don't have any control over the things you worry about, and worrying or overthinking about things can be complete mental torture... what will happen will happen...

    If you're looking for a waterproof mazzie, I tried out the Natural collection from Boots when I was at my friends wedding in the UK... tears so did not mess my face up! It's £2! http://www.boots.com/en/Natural-Collection-Water-Guard-Mascara_24322/

    This is probably going to sound weird, and I ought to just email you, but since there are other women here who also have the same health concerns I'll just come right out with it. I'm very lucky to have someone in my life who is a Doc/breast expert - everything in this area she knows about. I was thinking about extending my blog to include women & health info too... and any breast related questions/concerns you may have they can be answered (privately)...

    Ok, long enough comment... Have a beautiful week V!
    x.o.x.o

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    1. You are such a sweetie. Now I understand your private message on Twitter; all makes sense now. I do have a question re breast screening which I would like to ask the Dr/expert you know. Which is the best way to do this? By e.mail or Twitter?
      TYSM for your lovely response and reaching out to me personally; love ya lots Sandee xx

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  13. This is such an amazing post, Vanessa! Sometimes I wish I could go and grab a coffee with you, I´m sure we´d have a wonderful time talking :)

    Happy Monday!

    xx Ivana

    Stop by sometimes :)
    Macarons and Pearls

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    1. Likewise Ivana. It would be lovely poring over those wedding magazines with you ;-)

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  14. Incredible questions, Vanessa. I contemplate my legacy, too, as we don't have children. I'm very grateful for what I have and what I don't have, but more importantly I'm grateful for not wasting the opportunity to learn from some pretty bad mistakes I've made.

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    1. Join the club Rebekah. I've made some whoppers also. But isn't that what life is all about-the learning from our mistakes (as you so rightly say ;-)

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  15. Vanessa ~ love these ... in them, they show us that we're all so much the same ... much more than we're different. I think we all worry, yes about different things, but worry. And deep down, we know it's futile and most worries never come to pass and steal our joy. I worry about so much the same: that I should be more disciplined in working out and eating healthier, that because I keep putting it off until tomorrow that tomorrow will never come, I worry about people I love and decisions I've made, about not spending enough time with loved ones each week, I worry about the right business decisions, never read a medical book on disease because I'd imagine I had everything and wonder if it's normal to just want to play all the time? You see? I love your blog, Vanessa. And I ♡ you!

    Sandy at Ooh La Frou Frou
    http://oohlafroufrou.blogspot.com

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    1. Awwwh! TYSM Sandy. You've been such a wonderful support from my early blogging days and I will never forget that. I love your list too. As you say, we are all the same; vulnerable worriers (no matter how successful we are) xx

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  16. That post hit the spot...I tend to worry too much myself too...must be why I love to fantasize (and watch fantasy, scifi shows!) and play so much...so I'm not a chronic worry wort so much!! eeek! I do wonder if I'll find my Clark Kent to Lois Lane...my own Superman....someone to hold hands with and melt over his smile...le sigh... I do feel really good about last year though! I was able to accomplish two things I've always never been able to accomplish. I've always wanted long nails but had the bad habit of being tempted to bite them! Finally broke that bad habit which wasn't easy and now have pretty pink long nails and I started eating healthier (no more fast food) and managed to lose 24 pounds...egads which has always been something I wanted to achieve! VERY happy with that. Great post Vanessa! Happy Monday!

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    1. Congratulations Margarita! So happy for you and of seeing you over here on my humble little blog xx

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  17. Can I just say Vanessa....how much I connected with this post. Basically every phrase and every word that you wrote was like reading something out of my life (except about the part of never getting drunk) :-))). And Sandy is right. We all share similar worries and concerns but understand that it's futile. So, just remember whenever you get those feelings - just immediately banish them, as I do.

    p.s. getting drunk is sometimes fun...as long as you do it with people who love you and can take care of you if you get sick after (which is the downside).
    wishing you a super wonderful week sweetie!
    xoxo

    http://rambleswithreese.etsy.com
    http://rambleswithreese.blogspot.com

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    1. TYSM lovely Reese for your gorgeous comments xx

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  18. such beautiful poem and lovely & fun images to go along with it.. you speak out of my heart! xo

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  19. Hi Vanessa!
    Your post is very touching. I believe us women worry more than men. It's just how were made. I too worry about all the things I cannot control. I lay my head down on my pillow and the worry begins.......so I pray. I try to leave it in Gods hands. He knows better than me. I think your mom is looking down on you and truly smiling. You are every mom's dream daughter. Your smart, hardworking, you have self respect and a warm heart. Your a good person Vanessa and I am very happy to have found you on twitter.

    Dee xoxo

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    1. Awwh Dee! You know I now have tears streaming down my face. You are always too kind to me xx

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  20. This is one of the most touching posts I've ever read! First of all thank you so much for adding me to your blog roll. You've completely earned a place in my blog roll as well and I'm going to add you! I also have fears but I try to be grateful for what I have today...just like you! Wouldn't it be nice if all the wonderful blogger friends could meet up one day? And on a lighter note...I too never really know what the best masacara is!! I have like 20!
    Have an awesome day!
    xo
    Sharon

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    1. TYSM Sharon. It's me absolute pleasure to know you and of course to read your fabulous blog posts. I also appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to always leave such lovely comments xx

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  21. what a beautiful post... i have so many of these feelings too... especially about the future... hope you're having a great week!

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    1. TYSM; I'm pleased it resonated with you xx

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  22. Wow this was quite some post! I actually have quite a few of those same feelings. Breast cancer, advances in cancer treatment, what my legacy will be because I do not and will not have children. I hope it's the same as yours. I also waste a ton of time on pintrest but I choose to think of it as something that's good for the soul :) xoxo

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  23. Hi sweety, hope you've been doing great. I love these inspiring posts of yours, they leave me wondering what I would say in the same situation. Always sweet and thought-provoking

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