Friends with Benefits

Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffiths are media sweethearts here in Spain. The media LOVE them. Why? Because they are always polite and gracious to the press and Antonio has never forgotten his Spanish roots. Just last weekend a photographer was following them whilst they were riding their bikes in Malaga. When he caught up with them, he was given a big hug by both and invited into the nearest bar for a coffee.



The Spanish love Melanie because she has embraced Spanish culture. Like me her language skills have a lot to be desired, but she tries, and the Spanish love a "trier".

Today Antonio gave an interview where he was explaining how whenever new Spanish actors come to Hollywood, him and Melanie open their homes to them, invite them to stay at their place(because he remembered how frightened he felt when he landed in LA alone). He cooks a huge paella, invites all his industry contacts, and does whatever he can to help aspiring actors in Hollywood.



In this interview he was speaking in particular about two specific actors who stayed with him (on separate ocassions) for months! When they were not staying in his home, they were on the phone daily asking Antonio to sort contacts out for them etc. He explained how now that "they" have made it big, when he sees them around they just turn the other way. They don't even acknowledge him or Melanie. One of the aforementioned individuals stayed in his home for over a year! Antonio was by no means complaining or sounding bitter. What he was saying was how sad that kind of behaviour was, because as fast as you can make it in Hollywood, it can chew you up and spit you out.

Who do you think he was talking about?


It is really sad when "friends" only use you for what they can obtain. Despite my professional background I am not very good at sussing out people close to me, who are like this; on the other hand my husband is really savvy.

What about you? Do you think there is a place for friends with benefits? Are you good at sussing out people like this quickly? How do you deal with "friends" like that before you kick them to the curb ;-)

Would be interested to hear your thoughts.

p.s you might also be interested in this post "Don't Forget Your Roots".

Don't Forget Your Roots!

Since living in Spain I have been a huge fan of Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem.


I “loved” them (notice the past tense being used?). But I could never understand why no-one I spoke to in Spain had a good word to say about either of them. In fact the majority of people hate the two of them with a passion (and as you can imagine, the Spanish are very passionate people, so much so my "research" about these two had to take place in dark secret corners, in very hushed tones).
But is it a case of sour grapes? But how could it be as the Spanish LOVE Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffiths? This is what was baffling.

Watching the Easter processions from a balcony in Malaga


So in the interest of getting to the bottom of this, I decided to “interview” (I use the term loosely) everyone I could; ranging from age 14 years to aged 82 years! I spoke to all friends, clients, customers, waiters at my favorite bar.......you name it, I had a quick word in anyone’s “shell-like” (ears, for my US friends) and asked them “What the hell is the problem?

What astounded me was that the responses I got, irrespective of who I spoke to, what part of Spain they were from, what age-group they fell into, what political party they supported, what social class they were from.........they all said the same thing.

Here are the reasons they gave:

*Javier Bardem and his mother (who seems constantly stapled to his side at all events) have always been policital activists here in Spain. In fact they were regarded as EXTREME Communists! Javier Bardem on numerous occasions in the past, at rallies in Spain, has spoken about his “hatred” for capitalism and ALL things American.



In fact he openly said during this period of his activism that if he ever won an Oscar, he wouldn’t even go to the US to collect it!

Hmmmmmm-interesting?!

*The Spanish are really quite angry that neither of them give interviews in Spain. In fact Penelope has a reputation of being quite rude to journalists who want to ask her questions. Her stock answer is “it’s my private life!” And yet, both of them are on every talk show in the US talking about that very thing-their private life.

*Any time you see a photo of either of them in Spain they look so damn miserable. Why?

*And of course the final insult for the Spanish was when they elected to have their baby in the US.

Unlike Antonio Banderas who the Spanish love,this clearly isn’t a case of sour grapes. It’s deeper than that. And having conducted my” interviews” I too feel my support for them waning at a very high speed. I don’t have a problem with people re-inventing themselves, but re-writing history? Yes I have a problem with that.

Just as a closing aside. Most people now know that Penelope Cruz’s brother is now the “arm-candy” of Eva Longoria. He is always written about as “the famous Spanish musician brother of Penelope Cruz”. Let me just tell you, no one here has heard of him (never mind heard anything this famous musician has performed). Everyone in Spain knows she had a younger brother, but that was the extent of if. Famous musician??!!! When I show my friends magazines from the US or the UK they are seething. Why? Perhaps this is just another “social climber” in the family? Who knows.

Is it OK to re-invent yourself and move on from your past? Does wisdom come with age, therefore what was said 10 years ago shouldn’t influence people now? Should what we said when we were younger come back and haunt us now? Is being “politically astute” more important these days than being sincere, or have they sold their souls, and sold out on their roots? How far should one go to "re-invent" themselves?

Would love to hear your views?