Here's the thing Lovelies.
Things are taking off in my business
in a way I have been dreaming of
(and planning for) for some time.
Plans are coming together.
Visualizations are
coming to fruition.
The stream called "momentum" is
starting to flow quicker.
Ideas that have been simmering for
some time are coming to the boil.
But guess what?
I am shying away from everything.
It's ludicrous. It just doesn't
make sense.
I am subconsciously
stalling the process!!
People who know me know I
am a goals-oriented "ninja".
And yet I am letting things slip.
I start working on my to-do list and
I happily get hijacked my Pinterest,
or YouTube or even doing my
taxes (that's a sure sign something
is wrong and that medication may
be required ;-)
I am not finishing anything.
I looked at my bedside table where I have
7 new books; all non-fiction.
I have got no further than chapter 5 in any of them.
And when I walked into my little study there is a box
of new books that I just keep piling up; touching, smelling
caressing and putting back onto the pile that is now their home.
If you even asked me what I read last night
I wouldn't even be able to tell you, because whilst
reading I am thinking about all the things I
"should" have done that day and didn't.
So I have to go back and re-read each chapter
(or should I start fretting about Alzheimers now?)
OK, I'll just add that worry to my list?
If I watch something on TV I literally "lose the
plot" because my mind goes off somewhere else
and invites me along for the ride.
It's a strange place to be as I have never been
so "flaky" before.
Am I afraid of failure?
If I don't move forward in the
way I am now being called too,
I can't fail. I can only stagnate.
But that's not the same……is it?
Or am I afraid of playing a bigger game
(something that has never frightened me before).
If I start playing bigger I will have to step
out from behind my computer, out of my sweats
and become more the face of my business; I
subconsciously don't want to do this.
I love the air of anonymity I get from
having an on-line business.
I just know I have no head-space left
for anything.
I can't even make a simple decision
like what to have for breakfast!
So this weekend I am going to do
my version of vegetating
|
I am sure I would play better if I had these |
I am going to have my golf lesson.
Anyone who knows
me knows I so do not fit the image of a
golf player.
However it was either become
a golf-widow when I moved
to a home in Spain on a golf-course,
or join the party
I am going to do yoga.
Watch TV for no reason but
just because I want too.
Remove all reading material
from my bedroom
Cook.
Eat.
Sleep.
Walk.
|
Sweden |
And call my neglected friends.
I think it may take longer than
this weekend to "re-boot"
but it's a start.
Hubs has said even if my website
combusts I am not to do a thing about
it until Monday (a bit harsh I thought ;-)
What are your plans this weekend?
Would love to hear how
you maintain your head-space?
xxxxxx