The Book Everyone Should Read

Jan 28, 2015

OK Lovelies.

Firstly thank you for ALL the wonderful messages
you all sent me via the blog and the other
social media platforms I am on. I can't tell you
how much each and everyone of  them lifted my spirits.

I had planned to be away from my blog a lot
longer than week. But there is just something about
the wonderful connections blogs create, that brought
me back her so quickly. It's like
chatting to a group of girlfriends without having
to get out of your pi's ;-)

OK, back to why I am here so quickly.
In my quest for trying to deal with my grief,
the first thing I did was  reach for books. 
That is where I find solace.
How can I control my feelings? 
How can I gain perspective'
How can I move forward?

I hate the feeling of "just letting things be".
I need to do something.

I tried The Power of Now which lost me after the
first 5 pages. I just wasn't ready for something
so esoteric. I needed "do-able".

So whilst searching for some peace of mind,
I serendipitously heard an interview by the
author Gabe Berman.

OMG!! This man GOT IT. He was also
so funny with it which really helped me.

So I got onto his website. Connected with
him (and he is the most wonderful and caring
person you can imagine-bearing in mind he doesn't
know me from Adam!)

I then bought his book Live Like a Fruit Fly
and started devouring every page like a demon 
I have mentioned it to every friend I have spoken
to this week.

If there is ONE book to read this year, 
make it this one. It's not "woo-woo" at all.
It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. 
But most importantly, it will give you a perspective
on how we generally live our lives, which for most 
of us is not working that well  (despite our
Instagram feed ;-)

This is what Gabe says

"Fruit flies are born, begin attending to their fruit-fly
agendas, then succumb to death before witnessing a single
change in season……….They don't waste time waiting for

Through anecdotes, insightful musings and hopeful
messages Gabe emphasizes the importance of living
our best life now; not tomorrow, next month, when the
children have left home, when we retire…..etc.
He emphasizes why NOW is all we really have and
how to live in this process with gratitude.

Listen, Gabe is not some monk who went and 
sat on a Himalayan mountain top to become
enlightened. He is "real" (for me anyway).
He comes from the cut and thrust world of corporate
America. He is not going to ask you to start chanting
and ringing Tibetan bells (although there is nothing wrong
with that). 

But right now I needed a fresh perspective;
 a perspective I could relate to and which
I felt was real and do-able. I don't have
time to "find myself". My grief is too raw.
I need to move forward now.
I don't have time to do the "Eat, Pay Love" thing;
maybe next year ;-)

I just needed something that would
resonate NOW.

Treat yourself  to this wonderful
quick read. It's a great way for all of us
to start the year whether you are in the midst of
grief  or just going through the motions
of another January, another year.

Make this one different for the right reasons.

p.s I am not an affiliate for this book or for the author. 
It's just something I loved and wanted to share.


It Wasn't Supposed To End Like This

Jan 19, 2015

The last 10 days has been very hard as I lost
my beloved Dad.

As those of you know who have read my ramblings for some years,
my Husband and I left our life overseas to return to the UK
to care and be with him (about 2.5 years ago)

But it wasn't supposed to end so soon.
We still had so many things to do together.
We still had so many things to laugh about.
He promised me he would be home soon…………..
but he never came.

This was not how I planned everything

This was not what was written in MY script.

Nobody warned me it would happen like this or be
this painful.

I know I'm a big girl now. 
I lost my Mum at quite a young age.
So I should be strong, shouldn't I?
I should know what happens?
I should know how painful grief is?

But this time it feels SO different.


So now I just need some time to deal with practicalities,
manage my own emotions and reflect on what I had
and what I lost.

Please excuse my absence from my own blog 
(I will still be checking in to all your blogs and 
on other social media platforms), but I think I will
need some time before I can start writing my own blog again.

I might just need 2 weeks, or 1 month, or even 2 months.
Only time will tell.
But I will be back ;-)


Here We Are Again

Jan 4, 2015

So the festivities are over already.
Where did the time go?
I must have been really enjoying myself.
Actually no! It was a very bittersweet time for me
as my lovely Dad was in hospital and ironically took a 
turn for the worst on Christmas Day (his favorite 
day of the year).

As those of you who have been following me
for some time know I left my life in Spain
to come and look after my Dad in the UK.

Despite how much I was hurting inside,
I wanted to do the very British "stiff upper lip" thing.
I'm not good at being overtly emotional (something
I found quite hard whilst living in Spain as the Spanish
have no problems showing very strong emotions
in front of anyone and everyone).

But I also know how much my Husband
LOVES Christmas and how many wonderful
events he had planned (if you follow me on
Instagram you would have seen some
of them there). So I felt I had to hold
it together (which I am quite good at doing). 
I think that comes with years of training
as a Criminal Pyschologist where
all emotion was eradicated from my working day ;-)

Anyway, I digress.
All that aside, I am still looking forward
to whatever 2015 holds for me and my loved ones.
Whatever it brings, I know it will teach me more
invaluable lessons and hopefully make me a better person :-)

Consequently I wish for ALL of us……….

*the joy of no resolutions

*the joy of NOT permanently being in a rush,
battling our way to every new finish line

*the joy of knowing tomorrow always brings with
it new chances and opportunities. Not everything
has to be done today.

*the joy of abandoning to-do lists and instead creating
"achieved" lists

*the joys of camera-less moments you didn't
expect but which will stay in your memory
for a very long time

*the joy of purging; be it your email, your Instagram feed,
your closet…….whatever makes you feel lighter

*the joy of wearing sparkles and sequins even after
the last bauble has been put away.

*the joy of the smell and feel of new books 
(you just don't get that with a Kindle ;-)

*the joy of more belly laughs

*the joy of more dreaming

*the joy of  snow

*the joy of more hugs

*the joy of more snatched and
tender moments that make you
feel warm and fuzzy

Happy 2015 lovely ladies.