It Wasn't Supposed To End Like This

The last 10 days has been very hard as I lost
my beloved Dad.

As those of you know who have read my ramblings for some years,
my Husband and I left our life overseas to return to the UK
to care and be with him (about 2.5 years ago)

But it wasn't supposed to end so soon.
We still had so many things to do together.
We still had so many things to laugh about.
He promised me he would be home soon…………..
but he never came.

This was not how I planned everything

This was not what was written in MY script.

Nobody warned me it would happen like this or be
this painful.

I know I'm a big girl now. 
I lost my Mum at quite a young age.
So I should be strong, shouldn't I?
I should know what happens?
I should know how painful grief is?

But this time it feels SO different.


So now I just need some time to deal with practicalities,
manage my own emotions and reflect on what I had
and what I lost.

Please excuse my absence from my own blog 
(I will still be checking in to all your blogs and 
on other social media platforms), but I think I will
need some time before I can start writing my own blog again.

I might just need 2 weeks, or 1 month, or even 2 months.
Only time will tell.
But I will be back ;-)



  1. I am so sorry for your loss :( Only time will ease the grief and he will visit you in your dreams

  2. Oh sweetie ~ so sorry to hear your news. I know it is such a hard thing to go through ~ we all deal in our own way so take as much time as you need ~ I will be thinking of you. Hugs xo

  3. I'm beyond words my dear friend. Sending lots of positive thoughts and energy over the miles to you. I know how I lost I felt when my Dad's time came to return to heaven. I pray that your angels will help you through this difficult time ... remember your Dad may be gone from earth but will walk with you each day ... He is now an Angel you can call by name "Dad" . Blessings mon ami, Celia M. (HHL)

    1. TYSM for your lovely words Celia. I truly believe that too. It's the only thing that is getting me through xx

  4. You know I'm here, Vannessa ♥ Take all the time you need and think about bach flowers to ease the transition, stones such as pink quartz... Much love to you ♥ and a big warm hug!

    1. TYSM H. Yes, I've been over-loading on the Bach remedies and they have helped so much xx

  5. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Vannessa. My heart is saddened by the news. I am thinking of you & praying for you, my friend. Cherish all the time & memories you have with him. Hugs! <3

  6. Vanessa I am sorry for your loss. I am praying for you. Xoxo Dee

  7. oh Vanessa I'm so so sad to hear about your Dad. Please take as much time away from your blog as you need, I will be here when you get back. I can only imagine all the emotions you're dealing with these last weeks and while I know there are no magic words of condolence, I do hope you find comfort in the fact that you were such a caring daughter...there with him until the end. I'm sending you prayers for healing and peace to you and your hubby. God bless your sweet Dad.

    1. TYSM Leslie for your lovely words. You are an angel xx

  8. Dear Vannessa, I'm so deeply sorry for the pain and grief you are experiencing. XO I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Wishing you rest and time to feel whatever you need to feel for as long as you need to feel it. XOXO

  9. Deepest sympathies. Thinking of you Vanessa. Let's do that coffee when you're feeling up to it. x

  10. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  11. Oh, Vanessa I am so sorry...take all the time you wonderful Dad died 3-years ago and there is not a day that I don't think of blessed are we to have loved so much and to have been loved so much by our Papas...I am sending you my love, thinking of you. xx

  12. Oh Vanessa you must be aching inside. We are never big girls, never immune to death, it guts all of us. I'm so so sorry.
    If you ever come to the frozen north, we must meet up, sending you love and hugs.

  13. Excellent post! I like this...Thanks for sharing!
    Trebinje apartment

  14. Vanessa I really feel for you! Take care. xo Caroline

  15. Vanessa my dear, I am so very sorry to hear this news. I was worried about you after that last post and have stopped by a couple of times to check in. I know we have written about the loss of a parent before, as you had lost your mom, and I lost my dad to cancer. I can only imagine that losing a second parent has it's own layer of grief. Take all the time you need. We will be waiting when you are ready to return. In the meantime, you will, truly, be in my thoughts and prayers for peace and comfort. Your sparkling memories of your life with him will return, I promise.
    Hugs, xx, Heather

  16. I'm so so sorry about your loss. No one can ever really prepare us but just know that you are loved and thought about and you will get through this! Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings with us!

  17. I feel your despair and I lost my mother one week ago. Things have stopped for me and I seem to be caught up in an impact...without any navigation. I am shaken to my core and I am not sure of my footing. I pray that things get better for the both of time, I know they will, but obviously right now this is a necessary journey.

    My father had a saying that...."every time that death knocks at the door, he is always a stranger." It is something that we will never get use to.


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