Seventeen Years

Before I start this post let me just preface
by saying I am NOT a soppy romantic.

But this weekend is my 17th wedding
anniversary and  friends 
are constantly asking how Hubs and I
 do it ; we rarely argue,
we are polar opposites and yet........
it works. 

 I too am so proud of how far 
we have come; how many adventures we
have had and with minimal damage

You see I was the girl who never 
wanted to get married.

I was fiercely independent and felt that
letting my guard down, being romantic
 was a sign of weakness
(not really sure where that came from)

I was happy having a boyfriend and having a good time;
I didn't "need" a husband

I  didn't need a man to validate me.

I never wanted the big white dress

But then Mr came along and made
me realise how wrong I was.

*he showed me he wasn't trying to validate me
he just wanted to share who I was

 *he showed me how to  
embrace my vulnerability

* he makes me belly laugh daily

*he answers the question "does my bum 
look big in this?" correctly every time ;-)

*he goes along with all my
mad hair-brain ideas, knowing
I will sort the wheat from the chaff

*he's happy with only one fifth of
the space in our closets and bathroom

*he showed me that I didn't have to lose my
femininity and  become an "Alpha bitch"
just because I worked in a male-dominated
environment (this was pre-sparkles ;-)

*he's always in my corner shouting "YES!""
when everyone else is saying "Are you sure
you should do that?"

*he buys the things I can never 
justify buying myself

*he lets me take the first sip of his
cappuccino (even though I 
don't drink coffee ;-)

*he patiently drives with the roof
of the car up when I know he is desperate
to put the roof down and his foot to the metal...
but he doesn't, because he knows
I will start faffing about my hair

*he never buys me flowers because I once said 
(when we were boyfriend and girlfriend)
it was so predictable. So he buys my fav 
magazine, or chocolate, or ....................
whatever he thinks will make me squeal with delight.

* compromise for either of us is not an issue; 
it's a given

That's why 17 years have felt like a 
mere 17 days of fun, laughter and love.

Don't get me wrong we have had our trials
and tribulations to deal with, but never 
in our relationship

Winnie the Pooh sums it up best for me

sorry for the slush

Would love to hear your thoughts on
love and marriage; was it what you expected,
do you wish you had never married? 

Perhaps you believe there is no 
such thing as a fairytale
or happy ending.
Maybe you believe that marriage 
is a dying institution

Would love to hear your thoughts however
diverse they may be ;-)

p.s  A HUGE thank you to the lovely COCO who
did a completely unsponsored post on me and
my sparkles; it was a wonderful surprise and I
am so grateful for her kindness and generosity


  1. Many many congratulations V! I loved the slush - just pinned it.
    My marriage has been very very difficult in recent years, if we hadn't had 13 perfect years under our belt and 3 before marriage, I doubt I'd still be here, but I am and I want us to be Pooh and Piglet.

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comments Tabs. It's not always easy marriage; it's like learning to read a road map when you first get together. Cheers to you that you are still together Tabs. So many take the easy route of divorce. You will/are Piglet and Pooh-I am sure of it xx

  2. Congratulations on your anniversary! You two sound like a great team. :)

    @ Tabs - hang in there!

  3. First off ~ Happy Anniversary!! I love this post ~ it truly sounds like you compliment one another well. I was 36 when I got married so I was not one of those ~ I want a big wedding and poufy white dress girls. I did get a small case of the "Cinderella syndrome" but got over it quickly. We too have had our ups and downs and sometimes I wish he was more romantic ~ but when he does something special and surprises me ~ well I fall in love just a little bit more. We just hit #12 so you are 5 years ahead of me. Cheers to love! xo

    1. TY Lori! Every year for each of us is a great time to celebrate :-) So pleased you had your white wedding moment. I had to compromise in the end as Hubs wanted the white dress celebration. So we married on the beach of Maui with a white dress, but not a meringue dress ;-)

  4. Congratulations on your 17th! I have never gotten to celebrate a single wedding anniversary with my husband since getting married in 2011.
    We have just had to be apart and perhaps we'll finally get to it by the 3rd year's anniversary. I don't know if by then, it'd be too petty to want any sort of celebration.

    I think though, that Marriage is a quiet and hardworking institution. It doesn't call for a lot frills unlike what the media will tell us it is. It's just like the simple gestures you've posted about and appreciating each other's flaws and genuine care. :)

    I hope I'll get to 17th too and by then have spent more days together than missed.

    1. You are so right it is a work in progress. I think the first year was the hardest for me as I slowly relinquished my fierce independent streak. As you say it's the small gestures that mean so much more than the grand surprises.
      Just keep on keeping on and before you know it you will be celebrating your 17th.....or even 20th anniversary xx

  5. Happy Anniversary Vannessa! My husband and me are polar opposite too, we complete each other, I freak out and he calms me down, he slows down and I stimulate him, I'm crazy over fashion and I know he won't hear half of my ramblings, he talks about sports and I try to look interested just because I love him, and so on. I love Winnie the Pooh's original illustrated book by the way.
    And thank you so much for the mention, you are really too kind my dear!!! Happy Sunday
    Coco et La vie en rose
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  6. Happy Anniversary Vanessa! What a wonderful millstone to have reached, I wish you both many many more years of immense happiness. It much be amazing finding that one person who can change your view on everything else. I am grateful for your fashion insight on my last post :)

    1. TY so much Sam. It is amazing finding the person who is the yang to your yin. You just have to be really uncompromising when "testing the waters" ;-) Have a lovely week Sweets xx

    2. Thanks for your visit dear! Hope you're having a great week thus far.

  7. Congratulations, lovely! I'm SO glad you have such a good guy to adventure through life with. :-) I love being with my guy. We rarely fight either, and when we do it is over quickly for which I'm very, very thankful. It's lovely to know he's on my side, always, even when he thinks I'm wrong. It's lovely to be trusted and believed in and enjoyed. He was a rock to me when so much of my life and health was untethered, and he loves me now when I can be my own rock. I'm thankful. :-)

  8. Teary eyed here Vanessa! Congrats to you and your husband, 17 years is a huge achievement. Your husband sounds like one of a kind. I have been with my husband for almost 10 years and I feel luckier every day to have him. We are bicker constantly but it works for us!

  9. Vanessa! Congratulations:):) I hope your husband sees this post.. it's wonderful:) Sounds as if you've found your soul mate :) and you BOTH get each other. THAT'S what it's all about. Acceptance, growing, giving, and never taking each other for granted. We celebrated 31 years in July and I just can't believe it. (I was 10 when we got married in case you are doing the math:) I STILL love the guy and he IS my number one priority. He works long hours and when he's home.. I'm home. You have to be there. I've got a couple friends with kids that are going off to college. They are feeling a bit strange with it being just the two of them. I think many couples forget to nurture their relationship over the years. It takes work and love to keep things in check:)


  10. What a lovely post! I can totally see how you cherish each other, something to be proud of! Con grats! xo Caroline

  11. happy happy anniversary, love the photos you used!

  12. Vanessa-I am just catching up on reading my favorite blogs. This is a lovely post on your relationship and marriage. What luck to find such a perfect fit-when you least expected it. We both celebrated wedding anniversaries this week and my mom (age 83) was married last weekend. I love a good love story don't you?
    Wonderful post darling!
    xx, Heather

  13. Vanessa what a great post, I love it when you get personal. Happy Anniversary sweet one, sounds like you picked well. I really enjoyed hearing the little details that feel so loving to you. Honestly, my hubby and I we’ve been together 30 years and I really think the secret is the little stuff.
    Thanks for this delightful post.


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