Why I Turned Down This Golden Opportunity

OK, so this week started the same as any
other week. I had lists everywhere of all that 
needed to be accomplished.

And then the phone rang.
It was the BBC.

What!!! Were they going to close my road 
again because they were filming some period drama
or something (which is quite typical). It couldn't
be to film scenes for Downton as that was all 
done an dusted.

However, it wasn't that.

No, they were inviting me to 
appear on Dragons Den
(the equivalent of Shark Tank in the US).

My heart sank but not for the reasons
you think.

I just knew this would never be my
kind of gig-ever.

So after chatting some time to the researcher
I politely declined.

I later spoke to friends and mentioned it
in some of the business groups I belong to, and
99% thought I was mad. 
A coward. 
A chicken.
That I would regret this for the rest of my life.
That NO publicity is bad publicity so I should
just pull my big girl pants on and get the hell 
out there……….it went on (all with
good intentions you understand).

But here's the thing. I knew immediately
this was not for me (and thankfully my
Husband verbalised everything I was feeling).

Here's why it was not for me:

* I don't fit the criteria for Dragons Den at all;
I've never applied  for outside funding or to Angel investors.

*I've not invented anything. I have a fabulous
boutique, but there is nothing innovative about
what I do; I am under no illusions

*I watch the programme every week and say to my
Husband every single time, "they could never pay me enough 
to get me on that programme!"

* the "Dragons" can be brutal and I
know it would take my confidence a long
time to recover from their public mauling

*I know these programmes need "fodder" to pad out each
programme; they need some definite "no's" to make
the programme more entertaining and the  "yes's "
more exciting. I was not prepared to be that fodder.

*I don't believe that no publicity is bad publicity.
I believe the "wrong" publicity could be bad
publicity and could seriously damage your brand;
I was not going to go down that road for 15 minutes 
of fame

More importantly I just felt it in my gut.
I've been trying to learn to be more intuitive to my
feelings and what they are actually telling me. And the
minute I knew what the phone call was about I knew
it was not for me. Let me just say I am the MOST 
indecisive person you can meet. It can take me a 
whole day to decide what book to read next. It can
take me hours to decide whether to exercise or not (by
which time I am too exhausted too anyway!)

So for me to feel so strongly that this was the wrong
publicity for me was a coup in itself.

But here's the thing. Despite all the fab arguments
my friends and acquaintances put forward (and they all
had my best interests at heart-every single
one of them) it just felt wrong for 

It's a lesson I am going to take forward this year,
the skills of which I am still trying to develop.

Despite what the pragmatic, logical self may be saying,
if the "feeling" doesn't resonate (or does resonate), then
I should only act then, and not act out of fear i.e this 
opportunity may never happen again.

I would love to know your thoughts and when you went
against your gut feelings only to be disappointed.

Do you believe that sometimes our feelings tell 
us more than the left side of our brain?

As always would love to hear your thoughts


  1. Great reasons!! Good for you for listening to your heart and gut!

  2. Very inspiring Vannessa!! Just because it's offered doesn't mean you need to jump on it. Saying no is very brave of you especially when do many are telling you to do it. You are very intuitive! Thank you for sharing your why, it makes a lot of sense!! Congratulations onbthe call, it still is very flattering. :)

  3. You have to do what is right for you, end of story. Don't let other people tell you how to run your life. I'm sure they meant well but you don't need that.
    Congratulations, there are going to be a lot more opportunities for you when you are ready.

  4. If this helps...I grew up hearing my late mom say "Baby, if you listen to your first mind, you'll never go wrong." Following that advice has saved me MANY times from situations that ultimately revealed themselves to not be in my favor. You were VERY SMART to follow your first mind!

  5. As always you inspire!! Learning to say no to things we don't want to do or feel are not right for us and will not serve our highest good - is something many of us struggle with. Fear and ego are powerful foes. Congrats on getting the call - and more congrats on having the courage to follow your intuition and do what feels right for you!! blessings my friend xo

  6. I am absolutely with you on this, and SO proud of you for being true to yourself and doing what is right for you. XO

  7. You need to do what is right for you ~ some call it a gut instinct ~ others say it is a woman's intuition ~ I saw bravo for listening to you heart.

  8. Congratulations to you...so pleased you listened to your heart, Vanessa...there's such strength and wisdom in that and by the way I agree with you ;) xx

  9. Con grats, but I do understand you and good to hear that you followed you gut, then it simply can't be the wrong decision. Keep going with your thing! Love Caroline


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